Shattered
by GetSetPirouette
Summary: Though his last words couldn't be delivered in person, they still stung.


No one thought much when Zuko's ship hadn't arrived to Kyoshi Island on time. After all, they'd heard word of rough weather on the seas, and that would be enough to delay even the most skilled soldiers.

But when it was over a week late, people started to get worried.

When word of a shipwreck reached the group, that was when they decided to go investigate for themselves.

The silence was palpable as they soared through the air on Appa, gazes trained on the rippling surface of the water around where the wreck was reported. Days passed without any promising signs and without a single word spoken; just silence and searching.

"There." It was a simple word from Aang's mouth: quivering and frightened and enough to change everything.

The second the air bison hit the water, Katara slid off his side, diving into the water before anyone could try to follow. Seconds passed, followed by minutes, and surely hours, maybe even months. It seemed like an eternity before she surfaced again, and for a little while they hope the streaks of water down her face were from her dive under the surface. But her heaving ribs and strangled sobs were enough to let them know why her cheeks were wet. And though they already knew what she'd found wasn't good, it didn't soften the blow when she simply shook her head and curled her fingers tight around the small chest that she'd brought from the wreckage.

The golden flame-shaped crown fastened to the top was enough for them to know what Katara had deemed it so necessary to salvage, but no one wanted to open it. It sat in the center of Appa's saddle for the entire trip back to Kyoshi Island, its presence too heavy to be ignored, though the group that accompanied it tried their best.

Appa touched down with a thud that rang with finality, but it took a few moments for anyone to move. Their eyes were red and each cheek had a streak down it, but there were no audible sobs.

Toph was the first to break that.

It started as a whimper that she tried to beat back, but the gravity of the whole situation was enough to break the rock-solid earthbender. Her soft whimper burst into a heart wrenching sob, and Sokka was quick to join her. After that, they went one by one, Aang and then Suki joining the chorus of sobs.

Only Katara remained silent, her eyes trained vigilantly on the box in the center of them all. Without a word, she leaned forward, fingers trembling as she pulled it close. It was sealed shut, probably to protect the contents from the water they knew was coming. The crown was tied quickly, haphazardly, and definitely desperately to the chest, and if you thought hard enough, you could feel the echoes of his frantic last heartbeats as he ensured the chest would be noticed once he was...

The lump in her throat tightened as she fumbled with the latch as she tried to shake off the images that were tainting her thoughts. As it clicked open, the sobs of her friends faded away, and they turned to face her. Cautiously, as if something might jump out, she peeled the lid back.

It was filled to the brim with papers, envelopes, and hurried letters. Her heart sank. She wasn't sure what she was hoping to find in there- it wasn't like he would pop out, all shaggy hair and lopsided smile, letting them know he was alright. That wasn't going to happen. That wasn't going to happen.

She repeated that to convince herself of its truth a few times before she picked up the first envelope. Judging by her quick glance into the box, this was the only one written out carefully, with a regal script that commanded a certain respect. Katara unfolded it and read its contents with a voice that had been cracked a few too many times over.

_From the hand of his Highness, Fire Lord Zuko._

_I officially decree myself incapable of fulfilling my duties as Presiding Governor of the Fire Nation. As the next heir to the throne is Unfit to Rule, I delegate the crown to General Iroh, Dragon of the West in my absence. Should he refuse the Right to Rule, I declare that power fall to an interim council until a new leader can be decided upon by the people and councils of the Fire Nation. The council shall be headed by Avatar Aang, and consist of the following individuals._

_Sokka, Warrior of the Southern Water Tribe_

_Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe_

_Lady Toph Beifong of the Earth Kingdom_

_Suki, Kyoshi Warrior and Personal Guard of the Palace_

As each of their names left her lips, memories flashed across her memory. Right before the coronation, when he wrapped Aang in a tight embrace.

Jeers and sarcastic remarks bouncing between him and Sokka, as their insults tugged laughter from all listening.

Toph riding piggyback on an exasperated firebender who would mumble something about how he'd never live down the fact that he'd accidentally burned her feet.

The first time Suki laughed and called him by name, and the look of mingled surprise and overwhelming joy that lit his eyes at the sound.

And finally, the tender look in his eyes as she'd pulled away from their embrace, a look she'd never seen replicated by any other human she'd ever encountered.

With a strangled sound, she set the note aside and shoved the chest towards her onlooking friends. She wouldn't cry. Not now. Let them look through the rest of the box, she was done. Turning her back to the rest of the group, she hugged her knees to her chest and tried not to think about amber eyes that should be twinkling gone dim, or a husky laugh gone silent.

Based on the murmurs Katara overheard, the rest of the box contained letters from the crew, apologies to wives and children and parents and siblings for the fact that they wouldn't be coming home. It would break her heart if it wasn't already so far shattered that she was numb to any further pain. But she knew something had changed when they all fell silent, and she could feel their gazes boring into her back.

Chancing a slow glance over her shoulder, she saw pity and fear and grief alight in each of their tear-soaked faces. Slowly, gravely, Aang held up the last envelope in the chest. It had one word written on it, in a scrawl that was somehow warm and familiar, not foreign and harsh like the previous letter this hand had written:

_Katara_

Her hand rose to take the letter from his hand, and she couldn't feel the movement until her fingers finally sat on the rough parchment. It sent a jolt through her that woke her from her stupor, and suddenly she felt everything, felt far too much. It was just a letter, she knew that, but she swore she could feel a slippered foot kicking her in the shins, telling her to snap out of it already.

Her brother eyed her expectantly, but she simply shook her head. No. It was too sacred. These were Zuko's last words to her, and if he hadn't included them in his previous message... they were meant for her eyes alone. Katara slipped the note into the folds of her sash and made her way down Appa's side. One after the other, her feet carried her back to the room where she was supposed to be staying during their reunion on Kyoshi Island. Curling onto her bed, she stared at the note. Light faded into star-filled night, but she didn't touch the letter in front of her. She didn't want to. The second she read it, he was gone. If she left it unread, there was still a bit of him left, a few more words he had to say.

If she read it, she was killing him.

She knew she was being ridiculous. He'd written a letter specifically for her; it would be an insult to his memory to leave it unopened. So with all the stiffness of a woman who'd seen far too much in this life, she rolled over and picked it up.

_Katara,_

_I'm sure you want to kill me right about now. But I guess if you're reading this, that wouldn't exactly be possible. So to start off, I want to say I'm sorry. Sorry that I'm gone. I know that apologizing won't change anything, but isn't that how it always goes? I do something stupid, you get mad and threaten me, we bicker a bit, and then I suck it up and apologize to save your pride and just pray to Agni you forgive me. I guess I'm more sorry that I'm not around to do the bickering part with you, and something tells me you won't forgive me so easily this time. _

_Now that I've got that out of the way, I guess it's time I get to the important part of this letter. Normally if I were to say something like this (and believe me, I spent the better part of this trip contemplating if I should or not), I'd be stammering and blushing and messing up words and taking hours to say a couple simple words. But I'm finding myself increasingly short on time, so I'll just say it._

_I love you._

_Spirits know I couldn't say anything before now. You'd only just forgiven me for all the mistakes I've made in the past. You'd only just started seeing me as a friend. Who was I to try to shatter that with something so selfish? Besides, you had Aang. Why would you need me? Well, I guess now I don't have to worry about ruining our friendship or what you have with Aang, so I really have no excuse not to tell you._

_I love you for all that you are, and while I'm not sure exactly when it started, I've loved you for quite some time. And I have no intentions of stopping once I'm a spirit in the wind. On the tough days, when ruling an entire nation at such a young age threatened to undo me, I'd let my mind wander to your blue eyes, the way you'd pop your hip to the side when you'd insult me, the brave way you stood for all the people you loved, and I'd just hope I fell under that category. I'd drift to sleep imagining what it would be like to hold you in my arms and swear to myself that one day I'd find the courage to tell you how I felt so that could be a possibility. (Hey, the second half of that is impossible now, but at least I didn't mess up the first part. Too much. Not bad for a loser like me.)_

_And stop crying. Trust me, you cry over silly things like a sabre-tooth moose lion with a thorn in his paw. I know you're probably not taking this well. (Sorry again.)_

_I don't have much time left, so I'll wrap this up now. In case I didn't make it clear enough, I believe you are the most beautiful person to ever grace this land, inside and out. Don't let this little bump in the road break your stride. Just know I'll be waiting for your answer, since this is technically a confession. It may take some time, but when I find you in the Spirit World, I expect an answer. _

_And trust me when I say I will wait. I've done it for a while now, and you're worth every second._

_All my love, _

_Zuko_

The tears were finally coming in full-force now as she swore her heart wrenched itself from her ribcage. He loved her. The idiot had loved her this whole time and didn't say a word until it was too late. Tucking the letter under her pillow, she found a scroll and some ink and got to work, writing furiously.

Dawn broke before she'd even covered half of what was going through her mind, but she couldn't hope to put half of her feelings down in writing, so she signed it, sealed the letter tight, and made her way to the local shrine, tucked back into a grotto of trees. With a certain reverence, she set the envelope down among the offerings of flowers and beads and food. She knew the wind would probably blow it away, but maybe that was for the best. Maybe some wind would blow and carry it all the way to wherever he was now; a simple envelope with simple writing scrawled across the front:

_That Firebending __Jerk __Who Should Have Spoken Up Sooner_


End file.
